Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Cancer

I will get into the Pride weekend later cause this is something that is on my mind.

I have a cancer, and its almost easier if it were the actual sickness. I would attack that with endless determination and ferocity, that is some evil and alien, that is something I can hate.

This is a cancer of a social variety, of people. I have a hard time dealing with that kind of cancer. I can't cut people out of my life like I could infected flesh. I don't have the personality to just push people away, so I usually hope they will break it off with me.

Its not always a virtue to be forgiving, its not always a virtue to give out a "second chance". I would like to think I could man up enough to put things to rest but I just hate the idea of hurting someone. It isn't like these people are evil or wrong, I just feel like they drag me down more than anything else. They don't enlighten my mood or my life, it just feels like a source of drama.

I shouldn't bitch, I should do something.

Cancer kills, and this kind has slowly damaged my social life and confidence.

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